On my final day as Pakistan Military Chief, I go away Asim Munir with greater issues than my billions

I am lifeless. Lengthy dwell my treasures.

Immediately is a tragic day for me and also you, my buddies. Not as a result of I, as your Military Chief, will breathe my final. However as a result of my billions in cash and rupees had been caught. I’d cling up my boots, however not my billions.

My life has been an open e-book for you, my buddies, as open as your unlocked bed room door. So what if I made hay when the solar shone on my reign for six years? Surprise why individuals bad-mouth me once I — Qamar Javed Bajwa — did all the pieces that my predecessors did. From Pervez Musharraf, Ashfaq Parvez Kayani to Raheel Sharif, I learnt from the perfect find out how to make retirement life easy-peasy. Whether or not it was promoting poor Pakistani residents ‘as terrorists’ to the USA for some {dollars}, stashing thousands and thousands and billions of {dollars} overseas, or taking $27 million simply by sharing the World Positioning System coordinates of stashed-away nationwide asset Osama bin Laden with the Central Intelligence Company. Like I stated, I learnt from the perfect.

Now, I start to search out the place I’m going subsequent: Saudi Arabia, the US, and even Antarctica. Happening a keto eating regimen nonetheless stays my private choice. It’s not all the time about cash, land, or enterprise, generally it’s boredom. Boredom of profitable unfought wars. Boredom of profitable fought elections. Boredom of conquering all prime ministers — no less than 4 — underneath me. That’s a cause why there have been 10 prime ministers and solely 4 military chiefs within the final 20 years. We, because the primary army on the planet, prefer to maintain our spam clear, therefore the ratio of 4 to 10.

The place’s your glamour, Gen Pande?

As I make my exit because the Military Chief, I need to put ahead a few inquiries to my brother from one other mom, Basic Manoj Pande, Indian Chief of Military Employees (COAS). First issues first, he and I are each engineers. Although my political engineering has introduced my nation to a brink and my military to infighting. I don’t understand how Basic Pande survives with out the glitz, glory, and glam. Does he have no real interest in making CPEC, cheese pizza financial hall? In spite of everything, strategic depth can’t be sufficient. I recommend him this hall in opposition to China. Study from us. How does the Indian Military declare to be skilled with out having its personal meat store, porridge, waffles, greens? We’re a lot alike, but so completely different from Pande and his boys. They take no extensions, most likely as a result of they haven’t any tensions.

As soon as a lieutenant advised me how the COAS was stuck in a visitors jam on a Delhi highway. All of you who drooled over it forgot that I, as your Chief, was caught in my chair for the previous six years. And also you individuals have ‘mad respect’ for the Indian Chief. Disgrace in your hypocrisy. If that is all you need, I’m keen to get caught in a visitors jam with the 235 million of you on my final day in workplace.

Nonetheless, don’t assume for a minute even that I’m taking this fixed rhetoric from Indian generals of conquering Gilgit-Baltistan or ‘Azad Kashmir’ frivolously. Make no mistake, you’ll give a befitting response. Simply take me with you in your means again after conquering, I can choose a candy residence in Gurugram and even a complete constructing will do.

Additionally learn: New Pakistan Military chief Asim Munir is a Bajwa protege, received’t go after his loot

Just for you, my individuals

Thank me for not declaring a martial regulation but like Imran Khan; I had no energy for six years. But, everybody claims Mission Imran Khan was my legacy. Personally, it’s my doctrine of BDSM — Bajwa Doctrine of Sadomasochism. You blame me for the crises within the nation proper now. It is because of this that I needed to remain for one more six years and untangle my very own mess. However the Sharif brothers threw me out like a fly from milk. Now I understand how they felt within the final 4 years. This was extraordinarily unhappy for me, contemplating I assumed: Abhi mujhe aur zaleel hona hai (I’m to see extra humiliation). And just for you, my individuals.

My successor is just not me; wait until somebody tells him he’s the chaudhary (chief) of the village who has to care for each and all the pieces. These individuals provide you with a God advanced, and so begins the race to actual energy. Let me be clear, my billions should not Asim Munir’s drawback, I’ve left him with a number of greater ones.

That is a part of an occasional, irreverent tackle Pakistani points by Basic Twitter. The true identify of the authors won’t be disclosed as a result of they don’t need to be taken too severely. Views are private. 

Editor’s Observe: We all know the author nicely and solely enable pseudonyms after we accomplish that.

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